Monday, September 29, 2008

Goodbye my lover...

You can never ever say I ain’t gave my love,
You can never say I don't care,
Since the beginning I've been here, I aint changed my love,
Regardless of what you may feel,
Us breaking up today would be a shame my love,
Don’t think it’s such a good idea,
But you don’t show me that you appreciate my love,
I had to say goodbye my dear.

My dear my dear...Say goodbye my dear...

I’m packin’ up boy I got to leave,
Gave you my heart & my soul, I gave everything,
Spent so much time in the streets,
You lied, you creeped,
And I stayed here with you.
OOH...
Dont wanna do this to my family,
They wanna see us together, living happily,
But you are so unfair, you showed no care,
And that’s why I am through...
All the pain,
All these years,
I hate to walk away,
But I got to say goodbye my dear,
I'm so done with you boy.

You can never ever say I ain’t gave my love,
You can never say I don't care,
Since the beginning I've been here, I aint changed my love,
Regardless of what you may feel,
Us breaking up today would be a shame my love,
Don’t think it’s such a good idea,
But you don’t show me that you appreciate my love,
I had to say goodbye my dear.

My dear my dear...Say goodbye my dear...

We've been going through this so long,
And you don't listen to me so now I'm showing you,
You’ll see when im gone you’ll miss me more than you think, you will...

ain’t Nan nigga gonna do all that I done did
all the years I been knowin you
look at how we live and look what u got me goin through
Girlfriend in your ear got you thinking I aint shit…
she say I aint doin nothing for you aint dat some shit
I ain’t finna have this shit so imma let you have the shit
better stop tryin’ me or imma hurt you and that bitch
I don’t mean no harm, no
but I been tryin’ hard yo,
I oughta walk away…
she got a hold on my heart though (though)

You can never ever say I ain’t gave my love,
You can never say I don't care,
Since the beginning I've been here, I aint changed my love,
Regardless of what you may feel,
Us breaking up today would be a shame my love,
Don’t think it’s such a good idea,
But you won’t show me that you appreciate my love,
I had to say goodbye my dear.

My dear my dear...Say goodbye my dear...

First we fuss and we fight and we break up
Then we kiss and make love and we make up
Do this over and over but no more shawty this time im 4sho
First we fuss and we fight and we break up
Then we kiss and make love and we make up
Do this over and over but no more shawty this time im 4sho

You can never ever say I ain’t gave my love,
You can never say I don't care,
Since the beginning I've been here, I aint changed my love,
Regardless of what you may feel,
Us breaking up today would be a shame my love,
Don’t think it’s such a good idea,
But you don’t show me that you appreciate my love,
I have to say goodbye my dear.

My dear my dear...Say goodbye my dear...

Tip: I stayed down for you, even waited around for you…
Now you cant never say I aint gave my love, you cant never say I don’t care…
Damn why It gotta end like this, this is the final goodbye!

Life as i once knew it.

Who could have thought that this day would be the day that would change the rest of my life. The seemingly small decision I chose to take that day would turn me off the path that I once set out for myself and take me on a journey that would have me experiencing everything that the world had to offer. Once this decision had been made I began to question myself in every aspect of life, I no longer knew what I wanted and began travelling a road that would soon lead to my own self awareness and confusion.

In a way it happened very slowly with much attention being paid to whether I would accept such a violation of my morals and beliefs, however time was standing still for no one and before I knew it the decision had been made and I was experiencing something I had only ever dreamed of.

As I lay face down feeling the soft touch of his hands on my back whilst he caressed my skin. Several minutes went by before he began his decent. Slowly has slipped his fingers under my clothing, making sure that I wasn’t feeling uncomfortable, ensuring I would not deny him the desire he was searching for. I remember hesitating for a moment whilst I questioned whether this is what I wanted or not. I made the decision based on the deep burning desire to experience something that was beyond me, to take me life to the next stage and gain some direction. In an unpredictable move I turned over onto my back and began to stare him in the eyes. It was at this moment that I knew that the decision I had made to pursue my deepest desire was without doubt going to change my life, change my life in a good way.

As we lay beside one another both in ecstasy with so many questions running through my already overloaded system. It was more than I had ever imagined and was so grateful that the person I had finally chosen to explore myself was the man I would soon grow to love and admire. Time went by, with this love growing from what was once only an exploration of two young men’s sexuality. This love became so strong that nothing else seemed to mattered any longer. All I could ever think of was the deepest desire to be with the one person who made me so very happy. With my love and happiness invested in one person did seem a big risk but the love I had for him seemed to justify the reason for perusing what I wanted so badly.

We often spoke about the love we had for each other and the dreams we had for the relationship that had become the center of our young lives. There was no doubt in our minds that we had something special that would last forever.

……………………..xoxo…………………….